chronicles of alynna

2009-08-17T16:18:00.002+08:00

Courage is not the absence of fear,but rather the judgement thatsomething else is more important than fear.Yesterday I dared to struggle.Today I dare to win.
Sometimes when I consider what tremendous consequences come from little things, I am tempted to think there are no little things. To make dreams real,first you have to have them.
I am only one. But still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something.And because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.
if one dream should falland break into a thousand pieces,never be afraidto pick up the pieces and try again. Dead ends are illusory.When did you ever let a ‘Do not enter’ sign keep you away from anything?Go around the brick walls.When you cannot go around climb over or dig under.Just don’t give up. Things are only impossible until they are not.
To be nobody-but-myself - in a world that is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting.

1. Take dreams seriously
2. Take it little steps
3. Don’t say ‘can’t
’4. Make your own rules
Learn from mistakes

2009-08-01T00:11:00.002+08:00

wow..itz been ages since i last update abt me,maself n i..well,wat can i say..werk has been hectic 4 me till had no tyme..hell ya..no tyme..been updatin more in facebook i gez..it can reali b veri addictive i muz say...each tyme i on ma lappie,facebook is d 1st website i will enter..hmm..

nyway,juz been discharged from hospital for asthma n positve h1n1..it seems dat reali ma ward has n outbreak..a few of ma colleagues got it..wat cn i say..we juz took it for granted thinkin it was juz a common seasonal flu..hmm..
sppedy recovery 2 me n others..haizz..but since was discharge,m havin chills n tempreture cn goes up to a low grade of 37.8...not too mention ma normal body tempreture cn reali go hypothermia n to a low of 35..amazing but true..enuf abt all diz illness..juz diz yr alone,m admitted to hospital twice..aiyo...

hmm..today is nurses' day...all nurses ard d world commenmerate diz veri special day..well,here is a little poem dedicated 2 all ..:

There are times in our lives when we sit down and wonder where our lives will lead us.Sometimes we get so caught up in our jobs that we forget what we truly represent.We get frustrated, aggravated, pushed to the limits and so mentally tired that we feel what is the use in being a Nurse.But then someone gives us a weak smile or holds our hand and may say "thank you, you are so special."The we feel the warmth growing in our hearts.All the bad feelings disappear and replaced by the core values that we present: human dignity, compassion, dedication, integrity, stewardship, leadership and excellence.So when the bad feelins begin to show take the times to say this prayer: Lord, help me to bring comfort where there is pain. Courage where there is despair. Acceptance when the end is near.A touch gentle with tenderness, patience, and love.And, always remember, all Nurses are truly blessed.For you see --- God gave of Hearts of Gold.

hmm...itz tyme 4 me 2 log off n eat ma meds b4 i cun start werk again diz 6 aug..m missin all ma babes at werk esp to all ma crazie bunch of peeps who is 4eva bringin laughter n smiles 2 d ward... miss u lotsa..*hugs*

2009-07-06T23:59:00.002+08:00

atlas..m able 2 breathe..it has been quite a hectic days 4 me since i came back from ma trip wif ma bff..
well,n updates on ma daily lyfe..

26 june 2009-30 june 2009..: overseas KL-Genting trip wif fari,nani n 1..we were all so super excited..diz was d 1st trip dat all 4 of us would b together n most imptly,all of us were out from werk..been werkin lyke a "maid" in d ward wif all d fussy,demandin pts n relatives..been entertainin dem till we were all breathin "haze".. bff gave me a surprise bifday party n i will neva forget..

3rd july..: happy 58th bifday,mommy..i love u lotsa...no1 can eva replace u n i m grateful 2 hv u s ma mom...muuauckz..may u lead a blissful n happy lyfe n to a ripeful age...amin..

4th july..: happy bifday to me..i turn 24...n itz ma bestie's wedding..Norazrina Bt Ismail..noe her since pri 3..14 yrs of frenship n still counting..congrats upon ur big day..moga rina n 5zal kekal hingga ke akhir hayat..m glad u found d one n happiness...m so happy for u..
was bz 1 whole day at rina's hse..helping her out durin her nikah s i was her bridesmaid..had 2 follow her whereva she go..thank u 4 choosin me s ur bridesmaid.. :)

5th july..: rina's reception..her weddin was super grand..her theme was..: majestic..nice lor..

6th july..: brought bestie kuzzie,yati who is from sweden out to town coz she is stayin at ma hse..entertain her wif all her crappy jokes..

haiz...itz oready midnyte..tyme checked..:0015 hrs,7 july 2009,tue..i got another 5 more days of rest n njoyment b4 i start werk again..hmm..missin,nani n fari oready..wonder wen can i meet dem..hmmph..

nyway,gonna upload ma overseas trip wif bff 1st den if m not tired will upload ma pri sch bestie weddin peak tures..

so stay tuned aightz...

2009-06-08T21:48:00.005+08:00

many thanx 2 abg man n wife,sis zauzah,farizah,nani n 1,5zal n rina n family,sham n yani n family 4 makin it possible 2 attend ma 1 n onli sis weddin..nutin cn express ma gratitude 2 u guys..nyway,i woould also lyke 2 apologise 2 those mention above 4 not bein 2 entertain u fully coz was 4eva bz entertainin ma endless relatives..but i m reali grateful 2 have frenz lyke u..

hmm..1 day have passed n ma sista is now a mrs instead of a miss.. well,big sis i hope 2 b n aunty soon..hurry..haha..

well,i hope u heard ma speech well on dat day coz i truly mean it..s a sista love is special in so many ways..how miles stretch between us n minutes turn to days..we shared so much s sistas,d tears,joys n pain..a lifetyme spent together,those memories remain..in tymes gone by,we've pondered..the paths our lives have taken..knowin dat in spite of diz,our sista love is unshaken..

i noe u n nana rashid wen tru lotsa downs rather den ups prior to marriage..even mummy wen tru it..i was glad dat daddy came n nikah u both n nana rashid's family came even though dey were against..i cried 4 happiness wen nana rashid was sayin his "lafaz" to u..coz all d moments of unhappiness n unpleasent things r cumin 2 end..big sis,do cherish nana rashid coz he reali wen tru alot juz 4 u..

eventhough itz juz 1 day u have been married,i m missin u so.. :( big sis,i love u..

peaktures r available in facebook but can only b viewed if u have 1...
(1) http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2025848&id=1431948093&saved#/album.php?aid=2025149&id=1431948093

(2) http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2025848&id=1431948093&saved#/album.php?aid=2025153&id=1431948093

(3)http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2025848&id=1431948093&saved#/album.php?aid=2025150&id=1431948093

2009-05-27T10:53:00.000+08:00

TRUST is a very important factor in everyday's lives.When trust is broken,it is da end of everything.Lack of trust leads to suspicious,suspicious generates anger,anger causes enmity and enmity may result in seperation.
We all looked forward to being love and respected.Many people are afraid of losing face.Generally,wen a person makes mistakes,they would look around to find a scapegoat n point fingers at.This is da start of da war.We should always remember dat wen we point fingers at a person,da other 4 fingers are pointing at ourselves.If we forgive others,others too will ignore our mistakes.
Dere is a sayin a perfect kinship can only be found between a deaf n blind person bcoz da blind cannot see da faults of da deaf n da deaf cannot hear da sacarsm or uncouth words from da blind.Many are blind at da begining n dream of a perpectual perfect kinship.Unfortunately,wen da xcitement of kinship wears offthey wake up n realise dat every thing is not a bed of roses.Therefore,da nitemare begins.
As the Chinese says," It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character".It is not easy to change.Thus,having high expectations on changing,will cause unpleasentness n dissappointment.It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations.
Another Chinese saying," A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation".Many kinship break off because of a wrong speech.Wen one is too close with da other,they will always forget mutual respect n courtesy.They say anything without considering if it would hurt da other party.Frequently,xchanging these remarks plants da seed of a bad relationship.Itz lyke a broken-cannot be reversed.
You can never have everyone praise you,nor will everyone can condemn you.Never in da past,not at da present n neva da future.Thus,do not b bothered by others words if your conscience is CLEAR.
Think 1st b4 u lose ur patience.Trucks can b repaired.Broken bones n hurt feelings often can't.Too often we fail to recognize da difference between da person n da performance.We forget dat forgiveness is greater den revenge.People make mistakes.We r allowed 2 make mistakes but da actions we take in a rage will haunt us foreva.

2009-05-25T00:02:00.000+08:00

life? full of screw-ups? "life is nothing but a series of consecutive screw ups" well,i have to agree with you to a certain extent. maybe, maybe not... this one's fer ya (u noe who) on the topic you had about "life"... "life covers a range of things whenever it comes, whatever it brings good stuff bad stuff, anything rings there are losers, there are kings but whatever you happen to be an it, a freak, a he or a she it's natually that way, no matter how you plea but life is life, however it seems it is unfair, but it'll be unrealistic if the world today is as nice as a biscuit it's a crazy thought, like the mind going ballisic if it happens then everyone would be mystics so the best thing to do is to accept what you've got it doesn't matter if your pure or not that is if you wanna be a part of life's plot if you believe yourself then you're cool for the shot..." relative to nothing inparticular.i thought i could just give my life a thought for a moment. my life of all is my life and no one elses. i've always thought that we could that is, become true power of this world. just to see we are the purpose of our own decay. i've said enough, so don't stop listening. there will always be a depressing view but it's only received from my own perspective. my life, my own life, I can't say is good. but, it is my life, so I will live it up. speak for yourself, if not for them then not for me.

2009-05-15T01:57:00.002+08:00

people come and go but some still stay.The 'used-to-be' closer ones drift apart while the 'never-close' ones are closer. Such things are always unpredictable. What matters most is actually who are the people whom you always have close to heart whether or not, it is known to them.

You are never satisfied wif what you've got. Let it be people or things...We always want more than what we have and we always want the best of many, many worlds. We try to accomodate each and every little aspect of everything and would love to be in peoples' good books though one can never be almost perfect in the eyes of everyone. It's kind of sad to think about it but I guess, it all comes within humans' nature.

They always say 'Love bring happiness, love brings smiles' but I dunno if anyone would agree with me that love is never perfect. For me is, 'Love is full of heart-pains, sacrifices and selfishness'. You have the bliss of love in the beginning and then you pay for it with tears and hurt. Sometimes 'love' is said and used for the wrong reasons...

No one can know another very well. Not even a mother to a child, a bestfriend to someone or a soulmate to one. Like Freud said, all of us are divided into three sections of the human personality- the Id, the Ego and the Super-Ego in which the Id is what we are always known to others, seen as one or assume as one. The Ego is then, the frustration of reality that we sometimes dun get what we want and we dun want that pathetic reality of our lives to be seen by others. And lastly, the Super-Ego which consists of two parts, the conscience and the ego-ideal. The conscience is the familiar metaphor of angel and devil on each shoulder. The conscience decides what course of action one should take. A strong super-ego serves to inhibit the biological instincts of the id, while a weak super-ego gives in to the id's urgings. Further, the levels of guilt in the two cases above will be high and low, respectively.

What I've entered are just my thoughts..

2009-05-06T16:55:00.004+08:00

6 may 2009..felt sick again since d day i was admitted to d hospital..diz tyme 4 d same cause..haiz..itz always d same thing..at tymes,i even get frustrated n i would even not comply to ma medications..

itz juz so frustratinggg...

nyway,m on 3 days mc till 8 may..in which,heard from sista manee dat i will b transferin back to a side wen m back from ma mc..smply bcoz wen i m in in icu,we hav 2 comply wif strict isolations techniques..in which,now dere is diz stupid swine flu n we r in d orange doscon code,we have to use full ppe wen goin in d rooms of d pt n usin N95 mask..m allergic to diz particular brand dat is, DRaGGEr..n itz not me alone who is..many others who hav asthma,once dey use it,it triggers off ur asthma..but too bad,we have to suffer coz dere wont b anymore suppply of 3m N95 mask nemore..changing to kelly n dragger..

haiiz...in otther words, athiyah is ssssooooo hapi dat she is goin back to a side..d place where she was nurture n fun..yesh ah...m cumin back,so babes..wat r u waitin 4...celebrate la..haha..

juz cun wait 2 go back la..but m oso sad coz ma dream was to study n do ma adv dip next yr june..but..haiz...looks lyke i have to forget abt it n juz dream it away... :( floatin up n away in d sky...

juz hope n prays dat diz swine flu will b cast away soon..

nyway,met up wif ma babes yestersay..had a little surprise to nani n 1 ..from me n fari..

we bought n design dem a jersey wif our names n yr of born..

actually,fari n i were walkin at tamp mall wen we decided to make one 4 ourselves..me,nani,fari n 1..

we den decided to call ourselves F.W.A.H..startin from our names intials from oldest 2 youngest...

fari,wan,me n nani..

wif our yr dat we were born in..

Wats F.W.A.H..?

F.W.A.H comprises of 3 ladies and a man.We value and respect one another. Someone who will never pin you down and someone who always brings a joy to you. That's the spirit of F.W.A.H

F.W.A.H :

A friend is someone we turn to,

When our spirits need a lift,

A friend is someone we treasure,

For true friendship is a gift.

A friend is someone we laugh with,

Over little personal things,

A friend is someone we're serious with,

In facing whatever life brings.

A friend is someone who fills our lives,

With beauty and joy and grace.

And makes the world that we live in

A better and happier place!

cool ryte..? haha..well,if u r interested to b our frenz,kindly filll up an application form..terms n condition applied..haha

2009-04-17T22:48:00.002+08:00

aaarghh.... juz dun understand y sum people keeps finding fault wif me..i noe i m slow but pulease...u can juz tell me...not gossip n finds ma mistake...u urself is not purfect...u r only in dere only a few mths ahead of me..no one is perfect la ma dear "FREN".. u tink u got lotsa werk to do,others oso..do spare a tot of others too...

i had enuf of ur nonsense... aaarghhh..!!! $#*&* .... damn monkey n a half....

been tolerating since day 1.. enuf is enuf....

hmmph... *sob..sob..* m begining to appreciate n miss ma A side babes even more..nutink can beat dem to their smiles n laughter...miss u babes lotsa... :( if only i can go back dere..reali regretted askin fer transfer but wat can i do..for ma future,juz have to tolerate n b more patient...

2 more days n annie from ma a side will b joinin me..hopefully,no one bullies her juz lyke how i was being bullied....

nyway,juz checked ma results...n gez wat...praises to god...i passed ma last sem exams...hmm..hopefully,can graduate next yr... :) wrote it on ma facebook acct n to ma surprise,ma consultant,Dr Kenneth Chan actually compliment me..haha..but too bad,i accidentally deleted it..hmm...
well,big sis is gettin married soon...6 n 7th june 2009 is her big day...even though we r not s close lyke other sistas r,i m sad n gonna miss her...despite our frequent quarrels,i noe dat she still loves me s her younger..she still look after me weneva ma mom is not in spore...
currently,m preparing so called "speech" to give durin her weddin n its a surprise...hmmph..*sob..sob* emotional juz got into me again..haiz...

tyme checked..: 2301 hrs..waitin for mummy to fetch... venue..: a side MO's room...

will update again...

** muchkins dearest..
i noe dat everyday u been entering ma blog to see if i m updating..well,juz wanna say..i miss n love u guys lotsa...even though nowadays i been rarely goin dere to c n stay dere,ma heart is always..no worries okays...next week wen m on AL,i promise u i will sleep dere n bring u guys out to timezone again..will play lyke nobody business...

*hugs*

2009-03-10T16:30:00.006+08:00

4 days seems lyke 4 years...
2009,a start of d year,i tot it would b n accident free n sickness free but 7 March 2009 was a date 2 remember..i was admitted to d hospital for ? left community acquired pneumonia secondary to asthma... today,10 march 2009..been discharged freely..alhamdulilah wif all d prayers,well wishes n visitin from ma dearest mucnhkins made me well..many came includin d unxpected one..

to me,i reali tot dat i was dyin..i cried n said ma prayers to GOD to forgive me n to ma most lovable mother...gez u might b wonderin y but,well...

7 march 2009..12 noon,ma mom n i went to ma mother's gd fren hse s their new born baby was goin to "cukur rambut" ..sat dere till abt 2 pm wen ma mom had to go 4 another wedding at bedok wif ma aunty..i felt sumthink was not ryte wif me but i choose to ignore it..told mummy dat i wanna go home n rest b4 i go to ma nephew's bifday party over at khatib mac..mummy agreed..sent me home,ate panadol n slept..woke up abt 5.30pm n off mummy n i went to khatib mac..i ate n laugh s usual..felt much betta afta d nap...at about 7pm,we went back to ma aunt hse at wlds to do our daily prayers..@ abt 7.30,wen mummy n i left to head back home,i suddenly felt different again..diz tyme,i felt lyke ma hroat was so sore n i cough non stop..told mummy to sent me to d dr n most prob i m takin mc d next day..mummy agree but dunnoe wat changed her mind,she sent me to CGH a&e instead..i was lyke ok..at d a&e,i didnt had to wait long enuf..since i was coughin badly n had a fever of 38.5 degrees n mesdical history of asthma,i was den seen stat b d drs..wow..spo2 was droppin to ma surprise..drs at d a&e was kind n fast..dey gave me nebs immediately upon hearin ma lungs..mind u..it was 4 nebs continuosly..neva felt diz way b4..had 2 do cxr n dr gave me iv hydrocort..he told me,dat i had to b admitted stat..spo2 was droppin to a low of 88-90% in which normal people standard range was 95%..in fact normal people who is sicj wld have fully 100%..had no choice but to agree...mummy was informed..dr gave me 3l/min ino2 n push me to d observation ward in which i juz had 2 wait for only 10 mins b4 i was pushed up to d ward..
was den admitted to CGH,Ward 25 bed 16..tempreture was still runnin high n sop2 was maintaininof 95-97% on ino2 3l..d moment of dyin came wen dey had 2 transfer me from one bed to another wen dey switch off ma oxygen for a while..i was reali gaspin for air..in fact,d feelin was lyke sumone was strangling u blockin ur whole wind pipe..u cldnt even breathe either tru ur mouth or nose..d only thing dat came to ma mind was,mummy..forgive me for d sins i done..i reali tot i was dyin..it reali feels lyke sumone is pulling ur lyfe...it was n eerie feeling....

15 mins past n in ma ward bed 16..medical officer came n see me..took ma medical history..told me to dat she is givin me iv hydrocort 6 hrly,nebs 1:1:2 6 hrly,pfer 6 hrly n bloods..
dr den dignose me s ? left comunity acquired pnuemonia secondary to asthma..
was lyke...huh...?? penumonia..? hmm..

next day came,relatives..frenz ..came...visited me..news spread real fast..haha..nyway,i reali appreciate it lotsa esp wen ma NC came..thanx lotsa NC Rahman...4 days came n well..fever came n go,wheezin heard..pleaded wif d dr to let me off..was reluctant at 1st but in d end,afta much promises n pleadin,she allowed but reali have 2 b careful..to take medicinces n inhalers on tyme n stuff..thanx drs..nurses n nc in ward 25 was indeed nice..perhaps,itz in their special mention dat m a nurse...haha..

well,here i m back to ma 2nd home..upper changi rd north..lookin at ma munchkins whom i misses d most..adli,aqil,azib n adilah..love u lotsa..kakak athiyah aka mami athiyah is back here to stay wif u,but diz tyme itz u guys who have to look afta me...hahaha.... *evil laugh*

in anyway,m now on HL till 17 march 2009..wat a mth to remember... to all,once again..thanx for ur prayers,well wishes n gifts.. :)

2009-02-19T15:50:00.002+08:00

tyme checked..: 1556hrs,19 Feb 2009
venue..: 1043,upper changi road north

tyme is clickin..9 more hrs b4 i sit for ma SCP exams..tick..tick...arrrgh..d tyme is juz movin quickly...i m onli half way tru..tried memorisin n understanding d facts but it juz couldnt get in ma brain..wat muz i do..??? m i able to pass ma exam..?? aargh...!!! juz feel lyke screamin ma lungs out..

nyway,a few days ago,met sumone while i was havin ma tea break wif ma colleague in kopitiam..actuali,his mom was n x pt in ma ward but i neva look afta his mom..his mom was in d MICA for sum tyme n i would usually c him sittin outside at ma ward..nyway,we bumped into each otherat kopitiam.he told me dat his mom was admitted again but in w63..was kinda shocked n woderin y did he inform me..hmm..but itz ok la..since he has oready informed me,i tot i should juz visit his mom..so,i wen dere durin ma lunch break..met him dere..chatted wif his mom n encourage his mom 2 eat since she was admitted diz tyme round for loss of appetite..juz s i was abt to leave d room,he called to me..wonderin if i left sumtink behind but to ma surprised,he asked for ma num.reluctantly,i gave..*wonderin y on earth i gave*..hmm..
while i was havin ma lecture,he msged me..replied him back n we kept xchangin msges..till we had to put a stop..
next day came(18 feb),n he msged me again..hmm.askin if i m gonna visit his mom again..replied,cun promise but i wen m free,i visit..he said ok..i m still thinkin y does he ask me diz question..?
nyte came,he msged me n kol me..chatted wif him on d fon n ask wen is ma next off day..again,diz morning(19 feb) he told me dat he waited for me at d hosptital thinkin i wld b visitin his mom today..hmmph...
hmm...nyway i jz replied,currently m bz preparin for ma exams tomoro..would get back to him wen m much more settled..hmmm...

tme checked,1616hrs..: got to get back on ma books..reali hav 2 study intensively..hopefully n prayin dat tomoro exams will not b s difficult s i xpect...all d best,alynna...

2009-02-17T23:14:00.003+08:00

juz finished watchin d last episode of Isteri untuk suami ku..2 hours full of anger n sadness s i watched it wif ma munchkins over at their hse.. a lesson which i learnt in diz movie is that,nutink beats d love of a parents n every single day n every single think is a blessing..part of d reality of life is hardship,dat is not a negative statement..itz simply a statement of fact n every day brings new challenges..living with the expectation that life will be difficult makes hard times easier to deal with..wen a family encounters hard times,dey will need to join together n face d challenge as a team..dey will need to be sensitive to d needs of individual family members each of whom will face unique difficulties...life is not easy, but having a support system makes life that much easier..

dat cums to ma mind of a parents love..

wen u feel lyke breakin down or crashin in,
who do u turn to,to forgive ur sins?
wen u cried ur lonely tears,
who will b dere to fight ur ur fears?
n wen it feels lyke no one would undersand,
who was dere to hold ur hands?

dere are people whom u cun replace,
dey r d one who gave u face.
dey love u tru thick n thin,
dey show u from d light within.
n if by chance u happen to die,
dey b d one who will reali cry.

u c ma fren,dere is no one who can love u more,
den ur very own parents,dats for sure.
always remember dat diz is true,
dat whereva u go,ur parents will be dere for u.

:( *sob..sob*

nyway,hope dat diz movie has taught me sumthink meaningful in lyfe..hmm..
well,itz been 2 days since i m on TL..lectures were kinda borin except for a few..couldnt possible concentrate coz ma mind juz keep wanderin around..lotsa things juz got stuck in ma head..examz r juz around d corner n i m not prepared to sit..tried studyin fer d past few days but it seems dat it juz cun sit in ma small brain..haiz...m i able to pass ma exams...? *thinkin*

been missin ma girlfrenz in A side..past few days eva since i was transfered to MICU,i would b poppin by to c ma girlfrenz..miss werkin wif dem n shoutin from one end to anotherla..miss d moments of "gossiping"..hmm..think i mentioned it earlier in ma previous blog..gez m reali gettin old..haha..

tyme checked..: 1220hrs...18 feb 2009..

1 more day to exams....helllp...!!!!!!!!!

2009-02-13T09:17:00.002+08:00

itz cumin to 2 weeks since i was last posted to MICU...lyfe at d begininig was tedious n even stressful..stressful till i had lotsa nasty dreams..i broke down at werk one day n more of it wen ma "dearest" nurse clinician whom is known s "IBM- International Big Mouth" woman,added salt to the wound..
she became such n eyesore eva since i got transfered to MICU..

ma colleagues in MICU n NC Rahman has been supportin me n givin me encouragements,which i m truly grateful..thanx peeps...
nyway,werkin in d icu settings has actually tot me alot esp to value lyfe..not noein wen u gonna die,suffer wif a terrible illness n dependin on d ventilators to help u breathe..
itz also quite n eerie feeling wen one moment u c a person tokin n d next moment,a person juz collaspse n die..emotions do fill me up n at tymes weneva i c a person bein intubated,i feel lyke pullin out d tube coz i can reali c dem sufferin..i tell maself n many others too who werk in diz settings actualli says,if dey eva happen to b hospitalised n needed to be sent to icu for intubation,many wouldnt wan..
leant lotsa thing in diz 2 weeks..in fact,dere r much more to learn..n everyday,is a learnin journey for me..

2 weeks is cumin to end n i have not been reali catchin up wif ma babes in ma previous station except dat i met up wif fari a few days ago coz she wans to cut her hair.. but itz ok coz i m countin down d days to our BATAM trip..diz tyme,not me n nani but fari is joinin s well..cun wait fer dat day to cum...

well,exams is in a few days tyme..have to reali start studyin otherwise i will b left behind..hmm..wanna pass n get ma studies over n done wif...

anyway,updates on ma lyfe... ma little monsters n muchkins has been persterin me to sleep over their hse again..i do wanna but itz juz dat i do need 2 spent tyme wif ur nanny 911 coz at diz moment,she is a little down n needs sumone to b by her side..perhaps,wen m much more settled k..i promise..i do miss u guys a lot..miss d moments of laughter n sleepless nytes wen we would play lyke nobody business..personal lyfe..? well,mummy is kinda down for d past few days..big sis..? hmmm...haiz..dun feel lyke writtin down la wat had happened but hoepfully s days past,sunshine would cum afta diz stormy weather..

got to go...werk is callin me...haha..will update again soon aightz... :)

2009-01-27T06:27:00.008+08:00

juz finished ma nyte shifts..it was a smooth saillin nyte fer me..no collasped,not much of pts,no nutink..wish everyday would b lyke dat..hmm..

nyway,on ma post 1st nyte,i met up wif ma GFs..juz d 4 of us..we had n njoyable moment together..we laughed till our stomach hurts,ate lyke nobody business,talked lyke dere is no tomoro n not forgettin,we shopped..even though i was on nyte dat day,i didnt even mind..juz to meet up wif dem..hmm...

friendship is one of d best think we can have in lyfe n datz y we should treasure it..to ma above gfs,i wan u to noe dat i m very thankful dat i met u galz..diz poem is 4 u..

somewhere in a distance,

i see pigeons fly.

sharing wonderful moments,

wen dey r above sky.

thinkin of all d memories,

dey made on yesterday.

sittin on d banches,

of experinces,agonies and gay.

listening to d music,

of a solemn day.

all d fun dey made,

in d sand dey lay.

memories of frenship,

i noe it will neva end.

as pigeons fly high,

and protect their relationship.

itz 7am in d morning now,n gez wat..m oready missing ma little munchkins..where r u all..? adli,aqil,qzib n adillah..missing u kiddos la...............

2009-01-21T17:09:00.003+08:00

GOODBYE 2008, WELCOME 2009..

itz been days n months since d last update..hate to say it but i juz didnt had d tyme..tyme was spent,goin to n fro to werk,den off to skool at nyte n off days were spent wif ma cheeky ones..
been stayin over at their house since last year Dec 2008 wen their parents went for haj..mummy n i looked afta dem till we r so attached n wen we went home for a day..dey cried n missed us n couldn't sleep..we too miss dem so much..so,datz d reason y we became unseperatable n here i m,stayin at their hse till now..

updates about me,maself n i..:

well,nutink special or ineresting things happening to me..every day is d same fer me except dat,i m gonna miss ma babes at werk..i mean ma babes from ma station..i b transfering to MICU in a few days tyme..which means,new colleagues,new environment,new NCs...everything new..even though,itz still in d same ward,general ward rarely meets n talk to peeps in MICU who are actually known s "proud" people who doesnt talk n mix around..hmmph..

juz s i was bloggin,i browsed tru peek tures of ma babes in ma station..i m so gonna miss dem..their chattiness,bubbliness..name it..dey have it..i juz dunnoe y suddenly i became so d emotional...haha..i juz cried..hmmph...

nyway,to ma babes who r reading diz esp ma close ones lyke nani,za n fari...i m gonna miss ur laughters n i hope dat d "thing" dat i gave it to u...would b a momento for our frenship dat we built n despite being in a different station,i reali hope we can still have our regular meet ups n "our moments" together..

nani..: congrats,u r now officially back wif 1 n i look forward to our regular batam trips together..

fari..: jangan nk emo sgt n dun let people take advantage of u..must stand up for urself k..not forgettin our batam trip end of feb..jgn cancel eh last minute..

za..: hope u get pregnant soon..

n to others, stay bubbly n chatty always..will pop by our station wenever we r free n shall gossip aightz...haha..

2008-11-09T01:05:00.003+08:00

itz reali been such a veri long tyme since i updated diz bloggy of mine..

firstly,yahoo..i must say..atlas exams over...2ndly, mr x boyfie who use to werk in MOS actuali started to contact me a few days ago n apologise to me n wanna patch things up..i have to admit it dat i still love him but sori dat itz against ma principles to accept u back coz to me i believe once we have broken up..we cun b back together...if we were reali meant to be wif each other,we wouldnt have broke up over a so called minor incident..hmm..but who cares,we r frens now n in fact best of frenz which is much betta den bein in a relationship la..ryte..? hmm..

3rdly, post jci celebration is over..celebrated it at Hyatt Hotel wif colleagues..

4thly,i hav been having sum probs at werk..not too sure if itz me or itz d environment or whoeva n wateva it is..perhaps will tell u more n u decide...

s u noe m werkin a s missy in diz hospital..well,dere is a so called "purrfect person" whom always tink she is in d ryte n does her werk perfectly n d others s well s me doesnt..but in fact,she doesnt..her mouth n words is totally "smelly"..she juz shoots evrything out n even at tyme use d word,"FUCK"..believe it or not..is diz wat u call a professional nurse...???

hmm...another think is sum colleagues of mine r super lazy i must say..in fact calculative..dey can even tell u things lyke..hey,ur room (num) is calling..go n ans..y cun u juz ans since u r so free..fancy ordering around...hmmph...next is,ma most irritating nurse clinician la..people always say m her pet in fact m not la..she is seriously gettin on ma nerves nowadays..once i was hurt wen she said, u looki sick n tired..c la..u take ur degree n datz y u cnnt concentrate on ur werk.. i was lyke huh..?? u r supposed to gimme encouragement not demoralise me...in d actual fact,u didnt even asked y i looked lyke dat..d reason was i was having a bad diarrhea n didnt slept well d nyte b4..plz find out d cause 1st b4 jumping to conclusion..m so fed up wif her la...so called fer being n NC..no wonder people despise u at tymes..dun blame dem though..

haiz...sori aightz fer listenin to ma whines..coz i reali couldnt take it nemore..thank god,ma SNM would be transfering me out afta listening to me..thanx aightz... :)

well today,s of 8 nov 2008..i got to noe sumone...actuali i have yet to inform ma close peeps..will tell u once things r much more settled..i mean to say,wen i noe hime well..den will update u peeps k..

hmm..juz to give u an idea of how i noe him..was serving ma evening meds wen sumone came by me n asked..

person A : xcuse me...watz ur name eh...?

i was lyke hmm...dun tell me dey wanna complain coz i was shouting all d way in d ward wif ma juniors..in fact laughing our heads out..

i replied..: 'athiyah..s well s i showed ma name tag..

quite worried,i asked y...?

person A juz say nutink..

moments later,

person B came: can i have ur contact num..?

huh..? was blanked..didnt reali noe if i should give or not..but nutink came to ma mind afta a moment of silence except dat i juz gave ma num without even thinkin nor hesitation..

soon,i received a msg from n unfamiliar num..

ma adik ipar wants to get to noe u..izzit possible..?

shocked again..i replied...who r u..?i tink u got d wrong num...

d num replied..: m d one who asked fer ur num tadi la n u gave me..

i was lyke.. O...ok..

while i was walkin out from ma ward,received a msg from another unfamiliar num..

u going home oready n walking out ah..?

i simply replied..yes ..n how u noe n who r u..?

shocked again..

in d end,he called me...n told me d truth..who he is n how he got ma num..hmm...datz d strory of how i noe him..d rest,itz fer u to gez who dat person is.. *giggles*

nyway,here r sum links dat u can click on..:

(1) http://apieceofhani.multiply.com/photos/album/91

(2) http://apieceofhani.multiply.com/photos/album/90

(3) http://dollydollz.multiply.com/photos/album/121/Straits_Kitchen_Grand_Hyatt#

2008-10-16T21:23:00.002+08:00

itz been 3 days since i stayed home..post nytes,sick...
been having diz bad asthma since ma 2nd last nyte at werk..wen to d a&e on ma sleepin day where za accompanied me...nurses triage me n den straight brought me in2 CC..dr immediately checked me n gave me a 2 nebs straight afta hearing ma lungs..hmm..wonder wat did he hear..soon,he say..he gonna put me in EOW to obeserve me for 4 hrs in which every hr i got to do a peak flow test n he will cum n review me again... haiz...n hr passed...peak flow was only 200 n den slowly went up..at d most it went up to 250..hmm..
4 hrs came n left..prof anathan came n reviewed me..offered me admission or go home n rest till fri n cum back if ma asthma is still dere..choose d option of goin home..no more sick leave,hospitalisation leave..annual leave left 6 days n worst still..ma interim is cumin n i dun wanna do badly..it will reflect bad on me n ma future...hmmph..

went back home n slept till nyte..felt slightly betta..at abt 2am,it came again..n i have been noticing it..it cums only at nyte..used ma inhaler at least 4 tymes n felt a little relief..scared was how i m feeling..d tot of za words wen she reminded me of ma pt,kak saraini..wouldnt want it to happen to me... :/ till dey offered her a lung transplant...

work,daily lyfe will all b affected...i dun wanna diz..i wanna study n at least have ma degree n den off to do ma adv dip..b sumbody at d end of d day n enlighten mummy wif all her burden...mummy is gettin old n i dun wanna her to werk s hard nemore..her bones r not s strong s it use to be..her heart is weak..hmmm..

nyway,another nyte cam n dat was last nyte...again,it came..msged za n a few others to ask sis tay if it was normal...been takin prednisolone on stand by 30mg every morning wif ma antibiotics but still it didnt go away...i dun noe wat to say..m juz sssooooo afraid..d last tyme i experience diz was wen i was so much youngern mummy n daddy was till together...

'athiyah binte mohamed khajah @ alynna chua..u been sick all ard diz yr..2008 is not a gd year fer u..hmmph...

2008-10-12T02:24:00.003+08:00

m on nyte again..diz tyme m doin 4 rounds of nyte..in which ma last 2 nytes is wif zahirah..atlas,i m doin wif sumone i m close wif besides ma great werking gfs.. ( fari,nani,jannah,azi..) itz onli ma 2nd nyte n m oready lyke falling sick...feels lyke m gettin ma asthma attack any moment..m coughing out hard till ma chest n throat juz hurts..hmm..3 more nytes n den m off fer 3 days...endure it 'athiyah alynna...u can do it..!! no more mc till end of d yr..enuf is enuf..!!!

tyme checked..: 0230 hrs, 12 october 2008..5 more hrs b4 i end ma shift...cun reali concentrate on ma revision...blood takings..? onli 2 pts which is at 6am..admissions...?oopzz..did i say admissions..? (hopefully dere isnt...) hmm...

nyway,close frenz have been askin abt mr munchkin n me..well,sad to say,fate juz didnt bring us any closer..in fact,being together makes us more far wif each other..not too sure if u understand wat i m trying to say but in other words,being close frenz is betta den being in a relationship..therefore,mr munchkin has seperated..so,no more news abt mr munchkin n me.. :( but m so much stronger la..no tears to cry fer..no nutink at all..perhaps itz becoz wen we were together fer d past few weeks,we juz contacted n met each other 2 days once n sumtymes a week once..hmm..itz ok..no worry to close frenz coz i m ok..reali ok... :)

mr x boyfie has oso been msging me n calling me but i ignore him..didnt give up...wonder y is he so pestering....???

2008-10-05T18:59:00.002+08:00

firstly,a little shoutout to all muslim frenz n relatives..
slamat ari raya,mina aidi wal fa izin,ampon maap dipinta kepada semua jika 'athiyah alynna telah menyakitkn ati atau terkasar bahase or wateva wrong doings i have done..
2ndly,been a while since i last update..was bz wif skool assignments(again), daily werk,preparations of raya..

nyway,itz oready d 5th day of raya..aunties,uncles,kuzzies,nieces n nephews have been floodin ma hse..visiting,seeking fer forgivness n not forgettin ma younger ones askin fer "angpow"..hmm..wish i were younger den i would oso receive..in anyway,d closest ones still give me..

back to d past...3rd october 2008,
sumone whom i m not supposed to disclose (onli ma 2 besties noes) gave me a $100 angpow...he said,itz only fer u ,not to tell anyone..thanx fer d care u been giving..
was kinda shocked...at first,i didnt noe it was dat much..so,i took it n kept it in ma pocket..wen i opened,i saw dat amount n i was ... didnt noe if i should accept n return it or wat..consulted ma bestie..ssshh...!! hmm..thank dem n told dem dat i wanna return it as it was so much but they insisted dat i keep it..thanx ya.... :)

nyte came,mummy msged me,dun cum back,i m on ma way to sgh a&e..dun panic..was kinda curious la..tot sumtink had happened to big sis..not noein it was ma mom who had chest pains even afta takin 2 tabs of GTN,it didnt subside..onli wen kuzzie called me n informed me den i knew..waited fer mommy at d a&e,nurses den took her ecg..hmmm..showed it to d dr n dr sent her fer xray n took sum cardiac enzymes..dr informed dat mummy would be kept fer observation till tomoro morning for continuous cardiac monitoring..juz in case she had another attack,it is easy to detect..mummy n dr asked me to go home n cum backd next morning at 6am..was werkin morning shift d next day..called up Mr Sim n told him dat i m takin urgent leave..it was approved..
alhamdulilah mummy was able to go home d next day..dr advised her..s usual..her stubborness wont leave in her..mummy n i had a misunderstanding at nyte..was so depressed dat at nyte i went out..co incidently,ma ward was planning a farewell party for our most caring,thoughtfull dr..Dr jerry Lim n a bifday party for one of d ICU girls,Diana.. since i was invited..i went..had fun n lotsa laughter..didnt knew dat MICU girls r all so outgoing wen at werk all of dem wear their stern face till i tot dey were all so unfrenly..sori ya babes.. :)

http://www.friendster.com/photos/3710716/1/498125729

came back home abt 2am..mummy was furious dat i left d hse but sori mummy,i juz wanted to destress maself..i noe if i stayed home,i would be rude to u n both wont lyke it..so,juz leave me alone diz few days aightz..
m sori if i have cause u to b agitated wen m not suppose to..i juz dunnoe watz got into me n y m i lyke diz...let me straighten out ma tots..today,i left home again..came to werk n try to concentrate on ma skool assignment which is suppose to hand in tomoro..but den again,it juz came botherin me..i may have a happy face in front but deep down,m juz so troubled...juz feel lyke goin to d beach alone n sit down..perhaps spend d nyte dere..maybe tomoro will b a betta day fer both me n mummy..hopefully,d strong breeze n sea water takes all ma troubles n sadness away...

ya allah..onli u can enlighten me...help me clear d misunderstanding wif mummy...

2008-09-24T07:50:00.002+08:00

sum thing at werk happened to me n ma colleagues at werk 2 days ago..been pondering wats d meanin of drs,nurses n quality of lyfe..?

arent drs ard to save lives n free people from disease,nurses to promote care n help d drs to give d pts d necessary tratments to pts n many more n quality of lyfe..?

well,2 days ago..a pt was transfered in to ma ward at abt 5pm..pt was stable at tyme of transfer..despite bein ADLs assisted,her parameters was stable..she could talk to us n did wat ordinary people could...at abt 6.30pm,wen dinner was served,she ate by herself n soon after,she pressed d call bell s she BO..so,we cleaned her up n at abt 7pm,ma another colleague cleaned her up..few moments later,her daughter came..ran out of d room n said, " i tink ma mom is not breathing.." colleagues n i ran to d room..took her spo2 n pulse,nutink..we knew we had to do sumthing..aed machine was pushed..we started CPR..Ho1 n Mo1 was called..ho1 n Mo1 came n decided to give her defib her..while we were giving her continuous CPR n gettin ready fer intubation,her bp n heart rythm came back...r1 soon came n saw but less den a min or so,r1 said," stop cpr,stop everything u r doin..juz give 100% oxygen.." everyone was juz huh..? includin ma NC who was dere...all were lost fer words...we juz stood dere n waited fer it to b asystolic..
tears juz stroll down our cheeks..we were arguin wif r1 n mo1 y cun we cont to save her..but r1 simply replied," even if we save her,she wouldnt live long.." isnt dr duty to save live..? yes,i do noe drs have their own reason but if we can save a person live,y dun we..?arent u supposed to do so...?? diz particular pt isnt put under d category of DIL,max ward mgt or comfort measures...she was juz lyke a normal ordinary person except she is juz ADLs assisted..drs,wat would u do if dat particular pt was ur mother..?? wouldnt u wan her to live n do ur best to save her..??

at abt 8pm,ma praticular pt was pronouced dead..however,before it became asystolic,ma colleagues asked mo1,how do u noe if it will becum asystolic s pt has pacemaker? doesnt a pacemaker regulates ur heart beat..? hmm..mo1 asked me to call r1 s he isnt sure himself..called n gez wat..he himself doesnt noe..cmon mr r1..itz kinda ridiculous if in ur lyfe s a dr,u neva cum across a pt who has a pacemaker insitu...?
u been a dr fer a century..u r dat lucky neva to cum across..? hmm...
before he cld get back wif us,it turned asystolic n another moment of stupidness in mr r1 came..mo1 had to cut open d deceased to take out d pacemaker..asked mo1 asked mr r1 how to do it s it was his 1st tyme besides mo1 is a new mo who recently got promoted from ho.. arent supposed to teach...m prestty sure ur job is to guide ur junior drs..gez wat,mr r1 dunnoe la how to cut open d deceased...wat a shame,mr r1...
hmm...all diz juz made me had hatred in r1..1stly,not helpin to save live..2ndly,dun even noe his job scope well n dun utilised his job fully s a dr...
i dun even noe how u got promoted n becum a dr..sumtymes,itz juz true wen people say,drs study so hard but brain put at their buttocks..
simple think lyke prescribing paracetamol n anarex together..?? arent anarex not supposed to be taken wif parectamol wen anrarex already contains it...?? weirdos...

enuf abt diz..u people go figure..well,tomoro m havin ma FHC presentations from 2-6pm..wishin ma grp mates,me n ma d other skool mates,all d best..hope u guys foreva shine n continue to do so in d upcumin exams...
gd luck dudes n dudettes... :)

to missy farizah,
happy belated bifday..u r now half a century n a yr older means a yr wiser..wish u all d best in everything u do n may u b blessed wif lotsa happiness n love...

2008-09-19T04:44:00.005+08:00

tears juz stroll down n wet ma puffy cheeks..

mr ex boyfren called me again on ma hp..no idea how he got ma new hp num.. chatted fer 3 hrs..
i noe n shouldnt have answered ma hp wen i saw his num but diz hands juz got itchy n pressed answer..

he apologised fer d wrongdoings he had done last tyme..i too apologise..juz dunnoe y la..perhaps itz because he reminded me of d past..he talked abt d happy moments he went tru wif me n stuffs..juz dunnoe y i juz cried..emotional juz caught me..but i didnt allow him to hear ma sadness..not wantin him to noe dat i m hard up fer him..well,i do have mr munchkin wif me but in diz case,mr munchkin is juz not here la..bz wif his werk..by d tyme,mr muunchkin gets home,he is juz too tired..dun even noe if i can stand being lyke diz..sumtymes,i think itz betta off bein good frenz or rather casual frenz..

back to mr ex boyfren..he simply made me feel sori fer him..wen i wrote in ma earlier blog,i felt dat i could be firm n by tellin him off yesterday n i could get over it but hey,it juz made me feel so denial..

i noe i m being plain stupid if were to give him a 2nd chance..which i tink ma close peeps who knew ma whole story wouldnt allow n strongly disagrees..i too made a promise to maself n to stick to ma principle dat once i spit on d floor,i wouldnt lick it back,in malay..kalo dh ludah pat lantai,tk akn jilat alik..hmm..confused in love hate relationship..?

haiz..all diz is gettin me down..how to concentrate wif ma skool werk n werk..?i do have to draw a line ..in fact a staraight one n make sure dat diz doesnt bother n affect ma daily activities..hmm..
who doesnt feel sad ryte..?even though,i do have other ex boyfies who brings me sweet memoirs,nutink could be compared wif him coz ......

'athiyah binte mohamed khajah @ alynna chua...y are u so dumb..??? cun u juz ignore his kols n all diz wouldnt have happen..!! wat a fool u r...u were once trick into him n now he got his desserts n cum cryin to u yet u forgive him..dun u learnt ur lesson..be strong..!! dun fall into his trap..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-09-18T01:39:00.006+08:00

juz got back from iftar wif ma werkin babes...

well,all came except fer mrs shaik who had to werk evening shift n poor mother in law who is not well..speedy recovery to ur mom in law n dun wori,zah..we r planning fer another outing la...

nyway,broke fast at hajjah maimunah,joo chiat place..it was so crowded..full of youngster in fact la..hmmph..but who cares..we r juz simply US..we still had our crappy jokes n laughed our heads out la..

after breaking our fast,we wen surveying fer azira's baju raya n at d same tyme lookin fer mine..nutink caught ma eye..besides,dunnoe y i juz dun have d mood to raya..hmm..perhaps m gettin older..haha..but hey,m juz 23 yrs.. *winks*..still young..

link : http://apieceofhani.multiply.com/photos/album/77/iftar_hajjah_maimunah

reached home abt 2330 hrs...

at home,here while m bloggin,pop..a msg pop up..it was mr ex boyfren..

gez wat..?

he talk sweetly n asked me fer a patch up..sori,no matter how mr nice guy can u be,i wont fall fer d same trick again..once bitten,twice shy.. *winks*..

itz true n i cun deny d fact dat i miss d happy moments we had together..d moments wen i was down,u kissed me n say,dun wori,u stick by me no matter wat..dat was simply d moment of touched..u do have ur good side..but m juz sick n tired of goin tru it all over again..had enuf of all diz cheatin n hurtin of feelings...

well,u juz to have blame urself fer not treasurin those moments..sori fren.. :)

updates on me,maself n i..

in a few days to cum,i be sittin fer ma exams..nerve wreckin,butterflies in ma stomach..name it..itz kinda same experience dat i had wen i went fer ma op in august..never feel diz way last tyme wen i sat fer exams..

tried focusing on d imporatant topic n revising d necessary words,but itz juz cun get into ma head..deep,deep in me,i juz feel stressed..not too sure if i m stress abt exams or wat but sum how or rather,i juz feel lyke ..........

well,mummy still isnt feelin too good..her back still hurts but i can say itz much betta coz at least now,she can stand n walk..syukur alhamdulilah...praises to u ALLAH..

hmm..mr munchkin,isnt wat he shld be n isnt to wat i expected..he is simply bz wif his OPS n afterwork job..have not been hearing from him fer 2 days..dun even noe if he is still ard surviving or not..put it simply,MIA...but i noe he is juz bz wif his OPS..even his bestie kol me n asked y is he werkin non stop..even wen his bestie kol him,he is in d mid of his OPS...hmm..mr munchkin,u mustnt werk too hard aightz..s wat u always tell me,money can find but not health..health cum 1st..

2008-09-14T23:47:00.004+08:00

hrs,mins n secs past..itz oready day 14 of d fasting mth..
juz finsihed ma nyte duty...1st nyte was not reali smooth sailing..juz s i was abt to hand report in d morning,ma pt died..2nd nyte,was smooth..no admissions but tons of blood taking..3rd nyte,was disaster..not fer ma pts but fer me n ma morning colleagues..i didnt hand report to dem nor close ma reports..everythink was juz in a mess..i was brought to d emergency department s i was having epixtais n vomitin coffee brown fluids..bp juz dropped to a low of 90/30...i was juz in daze..dun noe wat happen n d next moment dat i remember was i was oready in d DEM waiting fer bld results..i dun even remember tokin to d dr..how irony was it..hmmm..
well,here i m..supposedly to go to skool but didnt go..was simply resting at home..now m feeling so much betta...

hmmm..wat a yr 0f 2008 spent n diz is onli in sep..hopefully in d next 3-4 mths,things would go well fer me..amin..no more of visitin d DEM n bein admitted..n most imptly,no more SL..haiz..
ya allah,onli u can make me strong..free me from these illnesses n all unpleasent things..i pray to u n seek ur help..only u can make me well..amin..

nyway,afta witing fer long..itz 3 days more n i m having iftar wif ma nursing babes..we have settled fer hajjah maimunah at joo chiat..hmm..cun wait n m lookin forward to dat day..3 days,cam whoring wld b back again... :)
but itz a week again b4 i meet ma larling gf..hmm....

tyme to get back to ma skool werk again..got FHC grp presentation diz cumin 25th..got to hurry..will update soon.. :)

2008-09-03T00:26:00.003+08:00

computer crashed,skool assignments date line was dued n family had misunderstandings..everything juz had to happen in 3 days straight..onli god noes y is diz happening..

well,a week has passed n alhamdulilah things r gettin back to normal..big sis has gotten over it n is back to her usual self,mummy is not s worried s before n me..? still struggling to finish off ma assignments..

itz day 2 of d fasting mth n alhamdulilah everything goes well..

nyway,was juz pondering...wanna noe wat...?
hmm...few days ago,1 of ma gf msged me.. "sombong.."

i was lyke.. huh..?? i didnt noe wat to reply...i juz simply deleted it off...

i noe i m being mean to u but...i do noe n understand dat we r close n we tell each other little secrets but must i reali report n tell u eveything..?i do need a space to breathe...
certain thing r meant to b shared while sum r not..i m not tryin to be petty or wat but i reali think dat u shouldnt msged me dat way juz because i didnt tell u netink..reali..

but hey..all diz doesnt make me feel inferior nemore..m juz sick n tired..yes..last tyme i was sad dat d person i was about to b close wif sudenly turned out to b a disaster because of a misunderstanding...i do appreciate wateva u all have given me..esp being ma gfs..
bein ma sweetest gfs who gave me encouragement n confidence in eveything i do is sumthing i appreciate n will neva forget..

hmm...enuf said..gez d more i say..d more trouble in fact,d more misunderstandings which i dun wanna hear...

tyme checked.. : 0100 hrs,03 sep 08..
got to type out ma assignment n call mr munchkin...

2008-08-22T04:04:00.003+08:00

slept fer a few hrs or rather shld i say mins..wen suddenly,i feel sumthing heavy on ma chest dat makes me feel uncomfortable to breathe..
tried sprayin ma ventolin..once,twice..it wasnt successful..i panic..
tried to relax n sprayed again,twice...till i coughed n vomit everything out...ate 30mg prednisolone n felt much betta but still tight a little..here i m blogging..tryin to calm maself down..
tyme checked...:0410hrs
o.ma god..m werkin tomoro n diz is happening to me...sittin down,wonderin why all of a sudden i experience diz..?
izzit bcoz i m too stressed n worried..?
hmm..many things have been on ma mind recently...mummy,big sis,skool assignments...

m i feeling bothered by all diz...?

ya allah..only u can help me go tru all diz n make me strong...not only to me but ma whole family..give us strength n courage to go tru all diz..amin

2008-08-22T01:18:00.005+08:00

2 days have passed n i wan d cheerful girl who was eva smillin despite feelin d emptiness in her..d one who is constantly encouraging me..d one who was eva brave to endure n face tru obstacles in lyfe...where has ma big sis gone to..? *sob*sob*

s it came tumbling on u,it has affected many people ard u..ur close frenz,mummy n me..till mummy had a heart attack..every1 is worried fer u..do u noe dat by doin diz,u r not onli torturin urself but d others too..?

u got to pull urself n b strong..i noe itz ezy fer me to say rather den u who is facing it,but sumtymes people do take things fer granted n xpect dat it would b wif us foeva..i even told ma fren dat..we neva noe how to appreciate things in lyfe,until itz gone..

remember diz journal abt ppl cum n go...?

i hope diz reali cum in handy to u...diz was ur tots abt love wen ppl cum n go n u should live to it..

dearest sis,

i reali hope u can pull tru..i pray fer u dat things would go well fer u..i reali miss d old u..even though we r not close juz lyke any other sista r,but dere is a bonding of sister love..no one n nutink can eva b replaced d love we have..

2008-08-20T18:27:00.003+08:00

speedy recovery to dearest FARIZAH...

hope all d burnt dat u suffer will heal well..

2008-08-17T00:56:00.003+08:00

m back from d chevrons...kak lin invited us to her son,Riyan's 3rd burstday...enjoyed maself today..met up wif ma gfs..
d clock struck 2pm wen dey called ma hp endless tyme...i totally knocked out..besides,ma hp was not wif me at d point wen dey called..
nyway,met nani,fari n jannah at 5pm at sgh carpark..1 came 2...nani informed me dat 1 would b ma rider fer d day coz fari tumpang jannah n she is not confident to tumpang any..hmm..was kinda shocked la..tot she was jokin wif me..but it was fer real..i was kinda scared n had no confidence in 1 coz he is kinda small n me big..was so afraid if he cldnt balance..alhamdulilah we reached our destination safely..

reached d chevrons at abt 5plus...felt in love wif d place at 1st sight..it was a nice place to relax esp wif family...not many "chalet" abt 5 n itz exactly opp d pool..
nyway,d moment we reached..we ate lyke nobody's business...all were hungry..i too ate but ma stomach pain was unbearable..was purgin non stop..i ate,den off to toilet..ate again n went again...hmm..didnt reali njoyed maself wif d food..but i can c dat it was yummy coz fari,nani n d others had a few helpings...hmmm..kak lin..lain kali masak specially fer me k... :)
nyte came...it was tyme to celebrate n sing a bifday song fer Riyan..a cute boy which everyone who were present simply adore him...d cake were simply delicious..yummy i must say despite havin d runs...i still ate it..chocolate..?everyone juz cun resists d temptation..
me,fari,jannah,kak lin,n 1 simply had lotsa fun..laughing n most imptly..cam whoring..FAVOURITE...will neva miss dis part..
tyme was ticking...everybody had to make a move..coz all were from werk except me...tired n exhausted were on their faces...1 n nani sent me home..wanted 2 pay fer their petrol but dey didnt allow...hmm..wat la..next tyme k..owe u guys 1..
well,actuali wen 1 tumpang me n nani was riding beside us..i noticed sumting...dey r match made in heaven...a compatible couple who is so devoted 2 1 another..despite their ups n downs,dey r still perfect in each other eyes...

sumting fer nani..:
gf..u r sum1 s wat lowena told me..u r a person whom i can rely on in need..a fren in need is a fren in deed..even though we r not s close s u r wif ur other frens...i m thankful dat i hav met u..
in lyfe,we sumtymes take our love ones fer granted n we xpect dat dey will b wif us fereva..try to sit down n think..everything n anything happens fer a reason...everybody need TRUST which is a very important factor in everyday's lives..wen it is broken,it is da end of everything.Lack of trust leads to suspicious,suspicious generates anger,anger causes enmity and enmity may result in seperation...i hope u get wat i mean...i m not tryin to be nosey but here is ma tots of wat i tink..

12 hrs b4 m back to werk..m juz so excited...d feelin is juz lyke startin ma 1st day at werk...wonder y..hmm..nyway,got 2 iron ma uniform fer tomoro n den off to sleep..

btw,mr munchkin called me today..alas.. :)

link : http://dollydollz.multiply.com/photos/album/98/Riyans_Bday_The_Chevrons
http://apieceofhani.multiply.com/photos/album/73

2008-08-16T01:15:00.002+08:00

2day been a bad girl...didnt turn up fer ma drs' appt..staff at d clinic called..woke up n saw d num but decided to turn a deaf ear...hmmm...was too sleepy n tired 2 get up..perhapz bcoz i slept late d nyte b4..nyway,have 2 get a new appt wif ma ward clerk diz mon wen i m back to werk..
howeva,at abt 11am,ma kuzzie called afew tymes..had no choice but 2 ans..answered sleepily n heard her panic voice...

aci fizah..: athiyah..i need a private ambulance now..mak besar felt giddy n felt down..she doesnt wan 2 go cgh but wanna go sgh..
me..: huh..?how is she..?

in a state of panic,i oso told her dat i kol u back..i kol ma ward..suddenly,i realised dat i had a package from AMS fer nurses' day n it had their num..
gave kuzzie their num..

moments later,quickly bathe n kol mummy..nana rashid n nana bali picked me..went straight to A&E n managed to speak to dr...dr said dat she have to go fer n urgent ct scan to rule out stroke..was shocked..
n hr passed..ct scan results were out n dr said dat ma aunt had TIA n had to be admitted...by 3pm,she was admitted to NEM,stroke unit..drs clerked her case n bp shot up to 190/100...kuzzies n aunty came...
mak besar...athiyah doakn insya allah mak besar tkde pape k..jgn nk risau..

nyte came..big sis,x bf of 8 yrs came..gave mummy her belated bifday prezzie..was so happy to c him..mummy hugged him not wantin to let go...
tok 2 him fer abt 2 hrs...he cried..even though he has a gf now n big sis is oready engaged..he said nutink beats d 1st love..n i agree..he regretted not ironin things out wif sis afta a heated argument which ended dem to break up..
i neva felt diz way b4..s in i reali missed him so much..abg hanafi,n elder to me is sum1 who expands consciousness...he always seek to be enlightened , simple who possess n outgoing personality...his motto was..: A smile a day keeps the unhappiness away...' so lead your own LIFE and be happy of what you do...juz go wif da flow! datz wat he is..
nyway,we did chatted long..memoirs of d past juz flew in..hmm...
now dat both of dem has their own private lyfe,hope everything goes out fer dem n prays hard dat if fate will bring dem back together,it will..juz leave d hands of fate to ALLAH..
i noe m bein mean n unfair to big sis fiance n tyme will slowly make us closer juz lyke d bond both me n abg hanafi has..but,abg hanafi watched me grow..from a childish girl to sum1 slightly wiser...
hmmm..d bond is juz dere la..hmm...
enuf abt dem...
nyway,today mr munchkin msged me..apologise fer not relpyin to ma kols n msges s he was in a midst of ops..understand him la..even though we didnt talk on d fon..but itz ok...even a msg counts..
xchanged lotsa msges s he is unable to call coz currently he is on duty..so d happy...hmm.. :)

tyme checked..: 0350hrs...
got to sleep now..wanna wake up by noon coz i need to find a bifday prezzie fer dearest riyan..btw,m attendin a burstday party at d chevrons to celebrate riyan's 3rd bifday...meetin ma gfs abt 4pm n den head off to chevrons..mummy wont b in spore tomoro till sun s she wld b goin to batam wif ma aunties...not fer me 2 njoy but m goin back to werk diz sun n not forgettin ma ASS-ignments which date line has been brought forward 2 28 august..haizz....stress is cumin....

2008-08-15T03:40:00.003+08:00

alhamdulilah...ALLAH protected me n gave me sumthing which i truly appreciates n dat is to appreciate lyfe even more..

went fer ma medical appt yesterday at 1530hrs..dr was to reveal wat tumour dat is...another nerve wreckin experience fer me...but b4 i wen n get ma results,i dropped by ma ward to c ma peeps..juz to keep maself feel happy n not think abt d results...met farizah,nani,jacq n a few others..managed to sit down n tok wif dem..cheered maself up..tyme was movin faster..1530hrs came..went down to ent ctr..waited fer almost n hr b4 it was ma turn..soon,it was ma turn to go in..wished d floor would open fer me to enter...juz felt lyke not goin in to noe ma results..zahirah called to wish me d best..Prof Goh was not around s he wa in OT..his Reg,Dr Chin was dere...i sat down..oopz..m havin butterfly in ma tummy s i saw him opened ma histo results tru ISOFT...
hmm..suddenly,he said :

Dr Chin ..: hmm..itz..
me..: wat izzit,dr...?*sounded worried*
Dr Chin..: *smiled* dun wori..itz follicle adenoma..itz not cancerous at all n u dun have to worry coz it wont grow again...
me..: *phew* itz such a relief..alhamdulilah i said to maself smillin..
Dr Chin..: but i need u 2 cum back another 3 mths to check again k..
me..: no probz...

Ward 45a,here i cum..m goin back to werk diz Sun... :)

at dat moment,i juz felt lyke screamin fer joy...never felt diz happy..thankiu ALLAH fer ur protection... :)

went back 2 d ward..shared d gd news wif ma besties n other colleagues...
at abt 1630hrs,mommy,big sis n bro in law came n picked me up...told dem abt d gd news n dey brought me to BLUE DIAMOND to eat...ate quite alot n tried a new drink which is "tea masala"..a tea wif spices recommended by bro in law..hmm..quite nice...taste of real indian tea..mommy n big sis didnt lyke it...
well,next pit stop was to Parkway..a place dat many children grew up wif..d use to be amusement park on d 4th level..
nyway,went shoppin at Giant n walked around..mummy den suggested to play pool..we agreed...been a long while since we played s a family..
so,we went opp Parkway..pool fusion..played fer 3 hrs till midnyte..njoyed maself even though i kept sneezin n coughin suddenly..hmm..
mummy won bro in law 2 games..wen back n cldnt sleep a wink...
had a sudden asthma attack..cldnt breathe n vommited a few tymes..sprayed ma ventolin n it was relief..mummy put vicks all over ma chest,back,hands,legs n even nose..aiyah..in fact eveywhere la...she reali put it juz all over juz lyke how mothers would put vicks on babies..had to put on long sleeves to bed...hmm..
morning came..felt much betta..mummy msged askin how i m..told her m much betta....
nyte came,n worried mummy sent me to skool..met lowena,ma colleague at d carpark since she was goin to d same skool s me,i sat in her car fer a while since dere was still tyme..a little bit on her...previously,from ma stn..wen i entered,she wen 2 do her adv dip..now she is back in d ward but in ICA instead..a beauty wif brains i must say..she is currently doin her MASTERS in Nursing n she is only 24 yrs...(if only i cld b lyke her)..
nyway,afta class..she waited fer me outside...we chatted fer abt 2 hrs..wanted 2 meet up wif nani but ended she had to go fer her fren's mom funeral...sum other tyme aightz babe..

well,here i m back home juz finished doin ma planning of ma essay..got to catch sum sleep coz in a few hrs tyme,hv another checkup wif Dr Tan KL,ma resp senior consultant fer ma asthma..again another inhaler counselling..?????haiz...

by d way,mr munchkin have yet to call or msg me today... :( wonder wat is he angry wif...? but he did kol me d day b4 i went fer ma medical checkup n asked to msg him d outcum..i did..but he didnt replied...hmmph....

mr munchkin..where r u...?? y haven u reply to me...?wen i dun reply any of ur kols n msges..u get angry..but u r doin diz to me...hmmph.....

2008-08-13T02:17:00.005+08:00

i m juz feelin exhausted diz past few days..gez itz due to lack of sleep..well,i have been stayin up till d wee hrs juz to complete ma assignments on tyme..itz pretty stressful but at d end of day,itz worth it...hmm..

sumting abt ma nursing assignment..i have to complete 3 assignments...2 of which is a thesis n d other is a group assignment..to b handed up by 5th Sep..in which itz less den a mth..

1st assignment is ma Foundations in Healthcare...to write 1500 words about a nursing theory by Jean Watson which i choosed..she is a theorist which i choose coz she designed a theory of a caring process in which to attain or maintain health or to die peacefully..i find it kinda interesting to noe n learn more about it which actually applies to metaparadigm of nursing..

2nd assignment is ma Professional Practice Issue in other words is Nursing Law...

to complete 1500 words abt a case scenario which involves legal issues between a nurse,dr n a pt...hmm...wonder is itz reali happening in real lyfe where all 3 have to court..quite scary if diz were to happen..juz cun imagine it...

3rd assignment..which is d grp presentation..i seriously dun reali lyke d idea of havin grp presentations now coz itz so difficult to have meet ups..s all of us belong to a different organisation n werk all 3 shifts....haiz...wonder if diz project can b submitted on tyme..well,lets' pray fer it 2 b a success..

haiz..all diz assignments n research is giving me d headaches..but sumthin is addin on to it..tomoro is ma visit to ENT ctr at 1530hrs..prof christopher would b seein me n gez wat..?he is revealing wat d growth is...hmmph..

prayin dat all will go well...insya allah n amin...

nyway,2day..big sis wen to aunty hawa's place to get me ikan haruan..mummy asked me to eat s it helps to close d wound n heals faster...

*yucks*..it tasted so awful wen i tasted a sip of it...i nearly vomit it out...but thanx to big sis,mr fiance..to eat sweets n heat it up so dat it doesnt taste s yucky...

well,tyme checked..: itz 2.37hrs,13 august 2008..got to get back to werk..if not,i would lag behind...nyway,here r sum peektures which i snapped durin ma "break" of assignments...

look at d messed i've made...esp wif d junk in front of me..itz no wonder dat i m gettin "healthier" each day... :)

2008-08-11T01:39:00.007+08:00

ma hospitalisation is cumin to end..gez wat...?m so excited..juz cun wait fer ma feets n hands to get back to work..itz gettin rusty each day...hmm...

sum people would b sad s itz back to werk again..but hey..m juz so excited..m countin down d days in fact...

5 days n here i cum..ward45a,rccm...wow...!!

despite bein d "sick bird"...i wen out to imah's weddin..met up wif sum of ma colleagues n ma nurse clinician,abg man..

a little bit on abg man..he is n outgoin wif a frenly personality..he treats all staff lyke his frens..not lyke any superior who would think dey r sumone higher rank den u n u got to noe ur limits..he even bring us out...

nyway,yesterday went to imah's weddin at woodlands..she was so beautiful..which bride doesnt look good on their weddin day ryte..?haha.. congrats imah n erwin..may u continue to have an everlastin love..

http://apieceofhani.multiply.com/photos/album/68

anyway,afta their weddin..both me n farizah had no plans..me bein,d "sick" one felt lyke a free bird..afta sittin at home for nearly a week..i began to smell d fresh air dat spore has...hmm*sniffin*....

i decided to go down town to catch d fire works n get ma thumb drive fer sch..fari agree to go wif me..headed down to town n managed to catch a glimse of d fireworks onli coz we were at Millenia Walk wen dey lighted up d fireworks..next pit stop was Marina Square...both of us shopped..fari bought me lingerie n i bought maself diz zara tee...it was on sale..so,i grabbed it...nyway,it was about close to 9pm wen me n fari were stuck in d centre of Suntec..we didnt noe where to go..so,we planned to go karaoke..called apollo ctr..no slots available..called ming arcade,luck was pretty shinnin on us..we got a slot at9.45pm...hmm..wat else..we straight headed dere...

http://apieceofhani.multiply.com/photos/album/70

nyway,today..itz home stay home day...itz tyme dat i get ma hands back on doin ma sch ASS-ignments b4 itz too late...managed to find sum research fer ma thesis but still need to find more..intend to drop by d library tomoro since m goin down to wlds to print out sum lecture notes...

haiz..all diz research is givin me d headache now...itz tyme to rest n let ma hands do d writtin..so,here i m bloggin n chattin... :)

2008-08-06T22:06:00.009+08:00

nyte is here again n m sittin at home tryin to recuperate real fast...

abt n hr ago,received a msg from ma werkin colleague...askin how i m..replied sayin was feelin betta...n asked her how she n d ward was.. to ma surprise,she told she do not noe coz she is oso on HL...hmm..i immediately kept quiet n imagined how tiring it was to werk in d ward now..

wif sum on MAL,HL,SL...i noe how it is coz i once upon a tyme werk wif d minimal staffs n wen d ward is very bz..itz gets frustrating...u even find it hard to breathe...

so,i decided to call up d ward..d only thing dat came to ma mind was,to go back to werk tomoro...

juz cun imagine how hectic d ward gonna b w/o lotsa staffs...

Gf,azira,picked up d fon...asked her how she is...?bz at ward n stuff...but noein her...she is d type,anything goes...so,mission failed...didnt find out lotsa info..

next step was to call Sista Rose s she is d noon NC in charge..

Sis Rose..: Evening,Sis Rose speakin..how may i help u...? (ma petite n smallest Nurse clinician who u will neva here her scold n shout)

me..: Sista Rose..i dgr a few of us is either on HL,MAL or SL eh...?is d ward able to cope...?i dun mind to cum back to werk tau..

Sis Rose..:jgn nk merapek..u concentrate on gettin well..den can tink of cumin back to werk..

me..: sista..i tk mepek..i btol..i reali wanna cum back to werk...i noe how ma colleagues werk esp wen dere is shortage of staff..

Sis Rose..: sudah..u g rest..mepekz jek..

me..: no..m serious...k la..wen dere is reali shortage of staff..do call me k..m most willin to cum back...

Sis Rose..: laughed..

haiz...misssion failed again..

dear Gfs n colleagues of Respiratory..

i m sori dat i have to take HL at diz moment..i do understand n sympathise wif u babes on d werk load dat u girls r facin ryte now..if m given d chance to cum back n werk...i surely will...u babes r d pride n joy n d road to ma recovery..pray for ma recovery fast n dat m able to go back to werk asap n lighter ur workload..a person cumin back to help reali makes a difference noe... :)

u babes werk ur ass out esp at diz moment wen a few of us is on HL n MAL...haiz...owe u babes one...

thumbs up for ward45a,RCCM girls coz dey r d best wen cums to werk n laughter...

sum of ma respiratory GFs n colleagues..they r wat i call.. : SUPERNURSES

(sori,not all of u babes' peektures i have..)

2008-08-06T15:06:00.003+08:00

*in pain*

itz 1506 hrs but m still feelin sleepy...izzit due to d medicine dat dey gave me last nyte so dat i wont feel d pain nemore or wat...?
hmmm..

in d wee hrs of d mornin...had a strong,sharp thrombing pain over ma operation site...saw in d mirror dat itz swollen n red..checked tempreture..was runnin a fever...hmm..perhaps diz xplain y i cun sleep properly usin juz a pillow..mummy was worried..rushed me to SGH,DEM...waited quite fast...saw d dr n dr put me under observation...till about 4am..d ent dr came n informed me i had 2 choice..one,was to b admitted again for antibitotics n observations for ?hematoma in operation site or go wif oralise antibitotics n cum again diz fri to c prof..hmm...mummy wanted me to stay but i tot all about it n came to a decision...no..i will not stay..i dun wanna ma HL to bx xtend longer n stay in hosp...coz it makes me more sick..dats wat ma impression is..so,i made a decision n told d dr,i will take d antibiotics at home n cum back again..
reached home at about 5am..was discharded wif 3 medicines.a stronger pain killer n 2 antibiotics..
ate it once i reached home n slept d whole day tru..now m awake but kinda sleepy n in pain...juz wanna sleep summore but got to get up oready coz mummy say relatives r cumin 2 visit...aiyoh...diz relatives ah...visit n visit non stop...haizzzz.....cun even rest properly...how to get well...???
i noe i m bein grouchy now...haiz...sori but i juz cun helped it..juz gettin so irritated wif everything ... aaaarghhh....!!!!

2008-08-04T14:53:00.006+08:00

itz been a day since i m discharged from d hospital..

alhamdulilah,ma operation was successful...it wen smoothly...many thanx to all..relatives,family,frenz.werkin colleagues n nurse clinicians for their prayers...it was answered...
many thanx to GOD for protecting me...amin..

it was nerve wreckin experience for me..1st aug 2008..a date to remeber...i wen for n operation..
Right hemothyroidectomy with neoplasm..neva did i imagine how scary n eerie d feelin was..now i could relate to how ma patients feel wen dey go for any procudure..butterflies in ur stomach..tension muscles..name it..u will feel it..
i was admitted on d day of ma operation..i told ma Nurse Manager dat i m anxious n her words comforted me..she gave me assurance..she did many things she could think of juz to make me comfortable...little did i noe she called d operation thetre to ask who is d anaesthetist..called n was informed,d anaesthetist would be Dr Mok n assistin her is Dr Maureen..she told dem to look afta me in d OT...which Nurse Manager would eva go to all diz trouble...??
felt a little relief..d operation was schedule at 9am but d trolley fetched me at about 8.30am..while i was about to be transfered to d OT trolley..my SNM n ma Nurse Clinicians camen sent me off..it was a touching experience..i cried..both happy to c dem n anxious to go for d op..it was ma 1st eva procedure dat i eva wen tru...
d proter pushed me to OT..lips were murmurin all doa which i dould remember..d only tots dat i have was..will i cum out d OT wif any complications n alive...?? memories juz flashes tru ma mind..happiness moments wif ma love ones..people say,itz onli a small operation but u can neva predict anything..

as i was transfered to d induction room..all i tot was running away..told dem i want to cancel d op..wasnt even prepared..told maself if anything were to happen to me,i haven done anything for ma family esp ma mom..wat would she do f i m not around nemore...? howeva,Dr Mok n Dr Maureen,both d anesthestist comforted me...Prof Christopher Goh,who was goin to operate on me came to noe about ma anxious-ness n he gave me words of encouragement n assurance..his words came to ma senses..embrace maself n he himself pushed me in d room..
minutes laters,i was put to sleep..dun recall anything dat happen..for all i noe d next moment was,i heard sumbody tellin me to breathe..n wen i opened ma half of ma eyes,i saw i was oready out from d OT in d recovery room..hoever,i was still feelin drowsy due to d anesthesia...

moments later,i heard familiar voices...opened ma eyes spontaneously n saw a group of familiar faces...all ma nurse clinicians n nurse managers,ma colleagues were all dere...wanted to tok to dem but d effect of d anethesia is still dere..frouchy n drowsy...dun reali recall wat dey said nor wat did i said to dem...hmmm...

gez i slept tru out d day till d next morning..d thing dat i can remember was,i walked out to d corridor of ma room in d mornin n saw ma MICU colleague,Abg Malek n his wife...to ma surprise,he n his wife bought me a kuih which i actuali told dem i wanted to eat wen dey visited me afta ma op...hmm..dun recall tellin or tokin...Abg Malek i such a fatherly figure..he is d 1 who always remind me to use ma inhaler at werk n gave me confidence about ma frequent asthma attack..he is juz lyke a father to me..

in anyway,1st POD(2nd Aug),drainage was 30mls..couldnt go home..dr aims to have less den 20mls..was feelin so much betta..walked to ma ward..see all ma colleagues..dunnoe y i missed dem so much..hmmm..
relatives,frenz visited me...thanx to all who came..but Mr Munchkin came at nyte wen i was sleepin..he gave me a baby poor bear....thanx Mr Munchkin... :)

hmmm..2nd POD came..drainage was 20mls...was so afraid dat i m not able to go home...dr edward came n asked if i was keen to go home or stay for another day but i told i felt much betta n i m keen to go home but he verbalised if dere is any bleeding,fever n SOB..cum back immediately..was thankful dat he allowed me to go home..missed ma smelly pillow sooo much...hmmph..
Dr Edward discharged me n gave me HL till 15 Aug..datz such a long rest..asked him to give shorter HL but couldnt..told me to rest at home coz he is afraid of infections in hospital..hmmph...dat means.i wont b able to c ma babes at werk fer 2 weeks...2 weeks datz it..no laughters,no jokes to crack n no disturbing of each other..haaiz...reali miss dat la..in anyway,would be cumin back over diz week to c Prof Christopher Goh n on arrival,he will actuali traced n informed me of d results...d nodule dat was taken out together wif ma thyroid..
another anxious experience m goin to face..

nyway,here i m..at home..all out n about..feelin much betta despite d thrombin pain wen i stretch ma neck,eat n sleep..but itz ok..m willin to endure diz..
for now,i would take diz opportunity to express ma gratitude to all those who had prayed for me n visited me..here r sum moments of me in hospital together wif d gifts they presented me..
thanx a million,peeps....

link ... :
http://dollydollz.multiply.com/photos/album/95/Happy_Nurses_Day#

http://www.gunsandpanties.blogspot.com/

http://www.friendster.com/viewphotos.php?a=170881047&uid=3710716

2008-07-31T22:35:00.003+08:00

heya..m back...

hmm..fer d past few days has been very tedious for me..been rushin to n fro from school n werk,,copin wif ASS-ignments n others.. promised to upload ma girls' video clips but didnt..in fact ma 3 nytes (25-27 June)werkin was so smooth...no admissions,no falls,no nutink at all..in fact,i finish report writtin by 2300 hrs n juz had to wait fer d tyme to pass juz to give ma IVs n to suck all d bloods...well,i didnt manage to upload it was bcoz,durin ma free tyme,i slept..i reali doze off..perhaps it was due to rushing moments before n afta werk dat made me exhausted..on ma last nyte,me n ma juniors actuali had a feast..girls from b2 side wen to railway stn n bought us food..name it,we had prata,mee goreng,chips,biscuit,chocolates,tea tarik..wat a feast..afta bein so fulled..one of ma junior actuali felt asleep..but me n d other actuali off d whole corridor light n on sum soothin music..we even sang..believe it or not..we had tyme to do all diz...imagine how free we were...but seriously,among all ma nytes dat i have done..doin wif diz 2 juniors were reali fun..nutink else but eat,sleep n laugh...wonder wen can i do ma nyte again wif dem... :)

hmm..nyway,it was back to werk yesterday(30 June)...was werkin afternoon shift..nutink great nor excitin happen at werk..juz d same old routine...however,i dunnoe if i should say symthin bad happened..while i spike a transfusion fer ma pt,ma pt actuali wen in2 AF..became very tachy till he actuali turn SOB...luckily,d consultant was dere,so i didnt panic..but ma "step mother" actuali made noise wif me coz happily i have closed ma report fer d day..n she read ma report..n she told me sumthing...
step-mother: tgkla,macam mane tk mengomel..?keje semua tk buat btol2..bla..bla..
kalo mara,nanti kena asthma attack..haiz..mcm ane nk marah..?
i juz smiled to maself n said diz to ma heart...: " IT'S AN ADVANATGE JUGAK LA ADER SEMPUT NIE..."
i noe itz nasty of me to take advantage but hey,itz not dat i wanna have frequent asthma attack..it juz cums suddenly...

here i m today,juz got back from skool..feelin so shacked...werk diz mornin wasnt s hectic s i tot it would be but i had 2 juniors who were dere to help me n 2nd in charge to help me wif ma IVs..but d wakin up early not gettin enuf sleep reali tires me out...but ma eyes juz wont close coz................................................................................

M GOIN FER MA 1ST OPERATION IN ABOUT FEW HOURS TYME...ITZ MA 1ST OPERATION N I WOULD BE INTUBATED..AAARGHH.....!! M SO AFRAID......

ya allah,u r d only one who can make d operation goes smoothly...u r d almighty n dat i pray to u dat ma operation goes smoothly wif no complications...amin..

nyway,to all ma dearest werkin colleagues,CSM skool mates,PSC,NC,SNM..thanx fer d well wishers juz now...even though i wanted to cry,but i noe i had to b strong..d fear in me will still b in me till d op is over... :)
i juz cun wait to recuperate n den join all of u back at werk n skool again....
till den,i shall blog in again wen i m well... :)
ooppz..i forgot, wishing all healthcare professionals...
HAPPY NURSES' DAY... :)

2008-07-26T04:37:00.003+08:00

tyme checked..: 0435hrs
venue..: SGH MO's Room

1st n foremost,sori fer not updating ma blog..coz i have been occupied wif werk n studies fer d past few days...

well,sum bad thing or should i say sum thing unpleasent happen to me..in fact ma family..hmmmph... :( i reali dunnoe how to put it..it actuali concerns ma mom,sis n future bro in law..dis matter were gettin out of hand till i was involved..but s a younger one,both to ma mom n sis..i had to defend dem n stand up esp fer their rights...i juz cun stand dere helplessly watchin both ma love ones bein taken advantage..n bcoz of sum unpleasent-ness dat happened 2 days ago,both mom n sis fall out..sis had not been cumin back home n mom have been relatively quiet..
i tried to msg sis to make her realised n tried tokin to mom but none of it werks...i gez i juz have to pray n ask GOD to help..in tymes lyke diz..itz always ALLAH who can help us n we always remember HIM only wen in need..haiz...wen m i goona change..?? hmmph...

insya allah...

nyway,in exactly a weeks' tyme..m goin fer n op..itz,removal pf ma right thyroid..not too sure how long i will b hospitalised n will b on HL..but i pray fer it to go smoothly n dat i m able to cum back to werk ASAP...miss werkin wif ma girls at werk..even though itz only been lyke 2 days since i last saw dem but itz juz lyke months..maybe itz bcoz of d close bondin dat we have..
hmm..nyway,now m on ma nyte..ma 1st nyte..got 2 more nights before i have ma 2 off days again...nyte has been smooth saillin..no admissions nor any DIL pts..datz xplain y i m bloggin...
s i sat down at d nursing counter..i played ma psp ni stumbled to enter ma video clips..
i laughed while watching it..gez wat..? itz d videos dat i recorded durin our karaoke outin few mths ago..cun reali remember d date but it was mths ago...
reali miss those moments...d laughter we had...
will sure upload those videos wen i m free..if tomoro nyte is s smooth saillin s diz..i will sure to upload..will brin ma cable n upload it..haha.. :)

nyway,tyme checked now is 0450 hrs..got to sleep fer a while coz i got a long day ahead of me..
have to hand over report to ma morning girls ASAP n den off to skool till 4pm n den head back to werk at 8pm..yawnz.... d tot of it makes me lazy n feel lyke givin up but i reali hav to endure it coz at d end of d day,itz worth it..
hmmmph.... :)

2008-07-11T00:59:00.004+08:00

tyme n date checked..: 1.01 am, 11 July 2008

juz got back from werk...kinda feelin exhausted..been scrubbin d ward fer d past few days..not onli me but i gez ma other colleagues too m feelin diz way..all diz thanx to d upcumin JCI..

recently,i received a few belated bifday gifts from ma close peeps...nani gave me a mug which has a face of MR BEAN..was kinda curious why she bought me dat..?izzit bcoz i m slumber juz lyke him...? *thinkin*
mummy,big sis n fiance gave me a latest edition of PUMA watch..which i wanted..
cik piah,got me a new spectacles fer studyin s i broke mine..
aunty maimon,sent a bifday card from USA but still awaitin her to gimme prezzie s she would onli b back sumtyme next week..
thanx peeps... :)

well,started skool yesterday n d day before...made new frenz along d way...despite noein dem fer a few hrs,found dem a fun bunch of ppl to talk n hang out wif..well,yet to noe dem more in tyme to cum... :)

nyway, here i m loggin in..tryin to find research at d same tyme for ma sch assignments..have to start now or else m gonna b lag behind...wish me luck aightz..hope fully i can graduate by d yr 2010 in perth n datz also wen i would b finishing ma bond in sgh..perhaps den i can tink to stay n migrate to australia or persue n adv diploma...

haiz..gez sumtin is botherin me deep ryte now..m i reali fallin in love or itz juz a fling..sum says "puppy love" but arent i too old to be in diz "puppy love relationship" now...?

aaargh... *takin a deep breathe in n out*..focus on studies, 'athiyah...ur main aim now is to study n graduate wif a degree by 2010...

*sniffin in d air* ....okiez..m now relax...shall focus...bless me..till den,hapi studyin n researchin 'athiyah...

2008-07-07T00:58:00.004+08:00

First n foremost to all "fans" out dere...million apolgies...have not been updatin ma blog..dun even noe wat i m bz wif..haiz...but well,a summary of wat happened to me...

well,a daily updates since hmm...22nd June 08.. *thinkin back..*

22 June-24 June 08..nutin much reali happen except fer me loggin into d msn n found 2 of ma ex boyfrenz were online..dey msged me n asked me to forgive dem n even asked me to add dem in frensta again...hmmph..wonder watz got into dem..chatted wif both at d same tyme in msn till d wee hours...recallin d past...both sadness n happiness..well,watz past is past...both have oready their d other half n hapi wif wat dey r now..congrats mohd mujib bin abdulu rashid n mohd khalid bin ahmad sabtu...

25th June 08 : it was bonus n pay day...tyme checked : 1630 hours..venue: sakura international buffet at Downtown East..

people involved: w45a respiratory babes...

it was indeed a memprable day...i njoyed maself wif all d laughter...laughed till ma tummy hurts..luckily,m not pragnatn juz lyke kak lin..for all i noe,i 'll b giving birth dere..haha..

wanna see how much fun we had...?

log into : http://dollydollz.multiply.com/photos/album/83

days passed..every day n every nyte chatted wif ma dearest fren,razi...

Razi,sumone i knew back in 2003 wen i was in NYP..i knew Razi's gd fren,Dahar who was from ITE AMK..got to noe him n he introduced me to diz guy Razi..hang out wif their group of "Hougang peeps"..

contacted him fer a few mths n den we lost ctc..not so sure how...about a yr later,met Razi at Geylang Bazaar...got his num n recontacted him back..again,we lost ctc...

juz last yr,wen i was wif Hidayat,Razi came about..n gex wat..he was Hidayat's gd fren..didnt knew it till 1 day wen Hidayat met me under ma blk,Razi came along..n to ma surprise..itz RAzi again...since den,we decided not to lost contact again no matter wat happens..

till today,Razi stood by me wen i was sad n he cheered me up wen i was down..he was full of surprises n mischief n he would do netink juz to make happy...

well,1st July 08..: big sis n fiance celebrated both me n mummy advanced bifday at Warong Lele..n indonesian buffet at Far East Square...had a surprise bifday cake..

3rd July 08..: razi planed to meet me...gez wat..?i cried on diz day...a memorable day indeed..

razi gave me a surprise bifday treat at Swensens,Orchard..he treated me n gave me a surprise ice cream bifday cake..was reali moved to tears..hmmmph...

didnt reali take pics wif him n d cake ...perhaps was too shocked fer it..haha..

4 July 2008 : itz ma bifday...many well wishers came from 12 midnyte..was werkin morning shift d next day...gez wat surprise i had at werk..? sista zauzah,ma nurse clinician actuali bought me a bifday cake..not 1 but 2...haha..was kinda shocked..neva xpect her to do so..well,thanx so

much..celebrated it wif ma beautiful colleagues at werk...

5 July 08 ..: ma bestie cum colleague got married...congratz zahirah sulaiman n shaik sulaiman..u r now man n wife...

wen wif Farizah n met Nani n 1 dere..d others came afta werk..so met all babes dere..snap pics of us n d pengatin..

even though moment meet up,we managed to snap lotsa pics of us..

http://dollydollz.multiply.com/photos/album/84

well,here is to ma summarise updates fer d past..hmmm...a week or 2...haha..sori "fans"..i promise to update ma blog every 2 days if possible aightz...

till den,hapi belated bifday to :

1st July ..: Zahirah Sulaiman n Cheryl Peterson

2nd July..: Nana Sadiq

3rd July..: Mummy dearest

4th July..: Arfin, Fazlina n me

upcumin July Babies...:

7 July..: Aunty Jenny

9 July..: Jannah's most memorable day 21st bifday

12 July..: Nadirah

26 July..: Celeste Charlene Chua

n to all July babies...hapi bifday n many hapi returns..may u b blessed wif lotsa love n happines always.. :)

2008-06-22T17:05:00.011+08:00

aargh...been tryin to log in to update but i juz cun..finally..phew...! got in..

well,itz d end of ma AL..16 June 08-22 June 08..d next one is sumwhere in Nov..gonna werk fer about 5 more mths before i get ma next leave..

hmm...minutes n seconds juz passed...spent ma leave wif ma mainly ma mom,kuzzies,niece n nephews n even went visiting..

a brief of how i spent ma AL...even though,i didnt went overseas..i truly njoyed maself..but somehow or rather,i miss ma gfs in ma ward...nanie,fari,za,jannah n azi...miss u girls so much..

16 June - 17 June : chalet overnyte at downtown east wif kuzzies,niece n nephews..brief pics n video s attached...
brought ma love-lies fer a swim n den to meet n greet carebears..dey njoyed demselves so was me...if only all diz kiddos were mine...how i wish.... *day dreaming*

17 June 08: midnyte...

mummy reach spore safely...back from her umbra...fecth her at d airport wif kuzzie aci fizah n adli,nana zul n family n not forgettin me n big sis...

18 June 08 : 2 famil fren n 1 relative passed on...moga ALLAH mencucuri roh mereka...amin..al fatiha... went ziarah to 3 places..

19-21 June 08: accompany mumy to all relatives' places...to give air zam-zam aka holy water from mecca n dates n at nyt,wen to ma sec sch class mate weddin held at Aloha Loyang...managed to catch up wif ma class mates...but not all came...

22 June 08: wen fer ma senior wedding at tampines wif bestie..brought along ma niece n nephew..hyder n dina..baby sitted dem afta d wedding till now..hmm..datz how ma AL days were spent..well,now dat i m typin..i suddenly feel sumting is amiss..i juz miss sumbody..n gez who...?i miss ma gfs in ma ward...

fari,za,nani,azi n jannah n not forgettin sha2...hmm.wonderin how dey r now...nyway tomoro,wen m back to werk,gonna meet all of ma gfs but not fari n nani coz dey r bz havin their AL holidays..hmmph..but itz ok..we r gonna have a makan session again diz wed (25th June 08) @ Carosel,Holiday Inn Hotel..juz cun wait to see ma peeps...misss u sooooo much gfs.... :(

2008-06-13T01:56:00.003+08:00

tyme checked : 0156 hrs

general condition : sleepy n bummin around

well, i spent ma day watchin vcds n rottin in ma room..not forgettin lazy n bummin around..
itz not a good thing to do diz day everyday s fats would be huggin u soon..but who cares..itz has oready been huggin me..n people can say anytink dey wanna coz no one can make u feel inferior w/o ur consent..itz all in ur mind...

hmmm..watched a few vcds..here's d list of movies i watched..

(1) pasrah featuring erra fazira n norman hakim - in love itz either about ur EGO or faithfullness
(2) kernamu ibu featurin (i dun noe who) - all about a mothers' love..nutink can be replaced "it"
(3) mr bean's holiday - a hilarious movvie indeed
(4) failure to launch - a man who neeeded to be "push"
(5) tom n jerry kids - a cartoon to end d day

hmmm...itz back to werk tomoro...

actuali,i m missin ma babes at werk...dunnoe y diz past few days,things changed..we arent d happy n chatty people werkin in d ward..izzit bcoz we r all either werkin different shifts n sum havin their personal off day or perhaps itz d JCI accrditation cumin up..everyone feeling so stress...hmm..juz hope itz bcoz of d JCI thingy..
well,to ma babes at werk who is readin diz(jannah,nani,azi,za,fari) i miss ur bubbly n chatty voices..hope to c ya guys at werk soon...

2008-06-12T13:16:00.005+08:00

tyme checked : 1315 hrs..

*yawns*
m all awake now..thanx to d people downstairs who is screamin their lungs out lyke crazy mad dog...itz so infuriating..aaarghhh....

wateva it is,i sure m gonna curse n swear at u...m juz so grouchy now..hmmmph..

well,chatted wif razi till wee hrs n i finally got to sleep at abt 4plus am..
razi..razi...u were juz bein so sober last nyte but ma heart goes all out to u..u noe i noe aightz...datz between us n no one else should noe except me,u n d fon.. :)
juz wanna inform u dat sunshine do cum afta rain aightz..dun tink so much...m always here fer u juz lyke u were fer me wen ma skies were grey..

u r ma little sunshine...

hmm...was wondering wat shld i do today...
well,diz is wat i tot of doing..

(1) go to d library,borrow sum interestin books
(2) slack at d beach or go roller blading
(3) rot at home n watch VCDs
(4) catch things up wif ma bestie
(5) bring ma nieces n nephews out

*thinkin*....

*thinkin* .....

r u thinkin wat i m thinking...? :)

well,will update again later at nyte...

nyway,n update about mummy...mummy oso called me last nyte..she is safe n sound in mecca now..performin her umbra n she oready did twice...tomoro she is doin it again...m hapi fer u..alhamdulilah u managed to go tru it smoothly..m so proud of u mummy...
well,mummy dear..i mish u so much but now i m countin down d days of ur return..5 more days n u r back in ma arms... :)

m suffocating

2008-06-12T00:18:00.001+08:00

am juz soooo suffocating wif ur attitude..

yesh..i do agree dat people do have their emotions n mood swings but u juz one confused peep dat i noe who gets all diz mixed up..

i tried to acoomodate wif u but itz juz couldnt work out anymore..as wat sum say,it is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character n itz not easy to change..

lastest update on mummy n maself

2008-06-08T00:13:00.002+08:00

tyme n date checked : 7 June 2008 @ 2330 hrs

general conditon : cheerful but emotionally unstable

lastest update :

mummy msged me..i mean she replied to ma msg..she is safe n sound in medina n goin to mecca in about a few hours tyme..in fact,mummy is njoyin herself..dats wat cik piah msged..mummy loves d food dere n she is in high spirits..alhamdulilah..datz a veri gd news fer me..mummy msg to me was : she missed n love both me n big sis so much..

mummy,i do miss u too..dun u wori about me n big sis coz big sis has been lookin afta ma welfare..be it,food,sleep n everything..

well latest update about maself..s u can c,itz been about 2 days since i last log in..was bz wif werk..been goin to n fro wif werk n tyme is movin faster every seconds..

frenz ard 2 me s been cheerin me up wif laughter n not forgettin big sis who made ma sky brighter..

many thanks to razi,jannah,zahirah,nani,"kakak ija" n big sis..

But today somehow or rather,on ma way bacck from werk.. "pop" a message has been received :

know what?truly felt ur sisterly love wen mummy is nopt around.but i dun tell u in person la,embarrassing..i love u lotsa sis..

it was from big sis hp... tears juz wet ma eyes not too sure if it was pure happiness or sadness but i truly love u too sis despite sum things do happen between us..

m sure if mummy hears n c diz msg..she would b veri hapi 2 c both of us bein close n lovin each other lyke diz..hmmm.....

'Athiyah @ Alynna Chua & Fadhilah Salwa @Shalynna Sasha Chua

mummy has reached aman safely..

2008-06-04T16:26:00.001+08:00

@ 1200 hrs,received a msg from nana zul sayin mummy has juz reached aman safely n is on her way to Baitul Maqdis...itz sumwhere at d border of Jordan n Israel..alhamdulilah she reached dere safely..

she has to go tru another course in mecca where she will perform her umbra n dat is her most important part which she is goin to fulfill...

but wat i m worried of is dat she has stomach problems n a weak heart...will she able to witstand it..?but insya allah wif the help of ALLAH,she will pull tru n ALLAH will guide n help her..wif a kind soul lyke mummy,ALLAH will blessed her...

tyme checked : spore 4.30pm, aman :11.30am...

wonderin wat mummy is doin now..accordin to d iternery,she is visitin MAQAM NABI MUSA n BATU Tergantung or known as Dome of d Rock..

1. MAQAM NABI MUSA

Nabi Musa in Arabic means "the prophet Moses" who is recognized as one of the great prophets of Islam. Believed to be the spot where the prophet Moses is buried, Maqam al-Nabi Musa has been the site of an annual pilgrimage festival since the time of Salah Eddin. Set in an awe-inspiring landscape 8 km. south west of Jericho and 20 km. east of Jerusalem, Maqam al-Nabi Musa is a splendid example of medieval Islamic architecture. The present shrine, mosque, minaret and some of the rooms were built in 1269 AD while successive additions brought the site to its present day shape in 1475 AD. From Nabi Musa a track runs due west to the Byzantine cave monastery in Wadi Mukelik and continues on to Khan el-Ahmar.

2. Dome of The Rock

The Dome of the Rock is Jerusalem's answer to Paris' Eiffel Tower, Rome's St. Peter's Square, London's Big Ben and Kuala Lumpur's Petronas towers; dazzling the minds of Muslims and non-Muslims alike. The Dome of the Rock is Jerusalem.

The most universally recognized symbol of Jerusalem is not a Jewish or Christian holy place but a Muslim one: the Dome of the Rock. When people see its golden dome rising above the open expanse of al-Masjid al-Aqsa, they think of only one place in the world.
There is an often quoted statement of Muslim historian al-Muqaddasi on the reason for the building of Dome of the Rock. Al-Muqaddasi asked his uncle why al-Walid spent spent so much money on the building of the mosques in Damascus. The uncle answered:
O my little son, thou has no understanding. Verily al-Walid was right, and he was prompted to a worthy work. For he beheld Syria to be a country that had long been occupied by the Christians, and he noted there are beautiful churches still belonging to them , so enchantingly fair, and so renowned for their spendour, as are the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, and the Churches of Lydda and Edessa. So he sought to build for the Muslims a mosque that should be unique and a wonder to the world. And in like manner is it not evident that `Abd al-Malik, seeing the greatness of the martyrium [Qubbah] of the Holy Sepulchre and its magnificence was moved lest it should dazzle the minds of Muslims and hence erected above the Rock the Dome which is now seen there.

it only been a few hours..

2008-06-04T04:17:00.001+08:00

itz onli been a few hours since u left me behind but i m oready feelin lyke itz days n years... d last tyme u kol me was last nyte wen u were in bangkok transittin fer 3 hours before u take ur next flight to d holy land which is at 1.30am (4 june 2008) spore tyme..

managed to talk to u even it was fer a while...juz cun imagine in days to cum..how will i cope w/o u...
not too sure maybe i m feelin diz loneliness is bcoz i got nutink to do at home except watchin d television..perhaps n hopefully wen i start werk tomoro,i wont feel tyme goes s slow s diz...

dearest mummy,
i never felt lyke diz before..weneva u wen fer a holiday,leavin me behind,i neva had diz kind of feeling..itz juz so different diz tyme round..thinkin bcoz diz is d longest eva trip u r goin..hmmm...

i noe u wont b able to read diz blog of mine..but i reali got no where n no one to tok to...
sis is here fer me but nutink can be compared to u..in fact,no one can eva b compared wif u...ur smile,ur mencarut n even ur nagging...i reali miss...

mummy,do cum back quick coz i trlu miss u...

03 June 2008

2008-06-03T19:19:00.001+08:00

finally,i have decided to start a bloggy of ma own instead of readin ma frenz bloogy on how amazing n sad lyfe is..well,i use to have one blog site over in frensta but decided not to write in dere nemore due to unforseen circumstances..but here m back..pourin out wat i m goin tru in other words,itz chronicles of ALYNNA...

hmm...lets' start wif d date 3 June 2008..y dis date..? coz from today onwards till d 17th June,i m left all alone is spore n home wif no one to lend n hear ma laughter n sadness..

mummy has left for umbra,or another term is small haj..a pic of her before ma elder sista n i sent her to d airport..

2pm: prayed zuhur n got ready for airport
3pm: reached terminal 1,row 3,bangkok airlines in which she will transit to bangkok n off to Baitul Maqdis
3-4.30pm: relatives n frenz of mummy came..hug n kiss each other askin fer forgiveness wishin well wishers
4.30pm: mummy had to check in d departure hall..hugs n kisses exchange between me,mummy n sis..d moment of sadness came..

tears were strollin down n wettin ma cheeks..mummy is leavin for d holy land..mummy smell n kisses were bein missed..mummy,i now realised how important u r to ma lyfe n dat i truly missed u badly n i pray fer ur safety..

5.30pm: here i m now at home feelin d emptiness ..

mummy,i m waitin fer ur return n dat i promise u dat i b a good girl to u n sista..ur tshirt will always b wif me where eva i go..i miss u so much even though itz onli a few hrs...
nyway,thanx to relatives n frenz who sent mummy dearest to d airport n wishin her well wishers..do pray fer her safety k...

No one could be as special as you.

You mean everything if only you knew.
In this poem I want you to see everything you mean to me.
You always treat me with love and care.
And always have enough to share.
I love the little things you do.
Like teaching me how to tie my shoe.
I love when your always by my side.
I'm so lucky to have a Mom like you.
These are the loving things you always do.
I think about you every single day.